Shades

I sat on the red bench with my paints and paper. Since I only had watercolor paper to paint on, I used my watercolor paints. Several of the tubes had dried shut. I was able to get two shades of yellow open. I wet the paper and started painting curves and swirls. After a while things started looking like flowers, so I tried to steer them in that direction. It was cold outside. My nose was running. I'd started later than I had planned. Still, those blending yellow sweeps occupied me.

Today, the paper (still attached to the pad) sits on my floor, sideways. The paint has dried much lighter (a behavior I had forgotten about) and now the images look like sunny ghosts.

Things are disheveled around here, bare. Every day I look forward to sleeping. I slump into the futon like snow melting into the ground. When I wake, I wake tired.

The paleness of the paint makes my watercolor experiment seem blank from certain angles. It has been raining all day. I feel weak.