July 2005 Archives

For some reason I get a kick out of this and would buy it if I had an extra $20 burning a hole in my pocket. Of course, there is a lot at Kid Robot that tempts me...

It is beautiful, today. Bright and clear. After five cups of coffee I'm still not as bright as I'd like to be -- but I'm hoping to groove into the weekend and enjoy myself.

First steps: grab some supper. Then spend a little bit more time outside. That should breeze away some of these cobwebs.

So now it's dark.

The wind is hissing and fretting outside. Making the trees creak and strain. I'm fresh from a late shower and kind of tired -- for no real reason.

Also kind of sad.

I'd like to be doing more with my life, opening wider. I wish things were better. Wish I was.

Still...so much to be thankful for.

And I am.

Sipping good coffee and reflecting on the fact that you have move slow through the dense air, today. Passing into full sunshine (and stilled breezes) is like being wrapped in too many hot towels -- then having that smothering heat liquefied and poured into your lungs.

It is a slow, grand, and dangerously hot day. Even the butterflies seem burdened. Last time I looked, it was already well over 90 degrees. The heat index is supposed to top out at around 106 degrees.

I am sticking (for the most part) to air-conditioning, today. But I felt I owed it to myself to get out a little and feel the heat.

I'm weird like that.

Today is a velvet hammer. Outside, the heat and humidity thud into your chest and lungs. Easy to get swoony.

I wandered for a bit, taking photos of flowers...then fled back into the air-conditioning. The little weather icons I've added to Firefox say it is currently 91 degrees out there. In here it is a temperate October. A strange transition, passing through that doorway.

Rains have washed down heavilly -- more than once. It is gray and watery again out there. Fat droplets hissing through slick green leaves. And the heat. Still.

I have a flutter in my chest (too long between meals) and thunder is growling distantly. 5:51pm and the electric eye on my window candle has summoned it to life. Early.

These deep hot storms could wash down the electricity at some point tonight. I think I will light some real candles.

Soon...

The heat is tall, rising up into a clear blue sky. Bright colors and butterflies, tumbling. The flutter of birds at the fountain. On the radio: oldies. Inside, the water is cold. Back out (in the rich air) the pond ripples beneath lilly pads. Insects waltz up and down to the surface for sips. I can taste coffee on my lips.

Saturday, and my neck is kinda sore -- but the day is fine and sweet.

The music is so sweet and yearning, matched to the dreamlike (and beautiful) imagery it forms one of the most lovely sequences I've seen in a movie.

I watched Spirited Away again tonight and enjoyed that scene (and the rest) all over again.

It's later that I had expected, now. I have been tired all day (not enough sleep last night). I didn't think I'd be up at this point.

Glad I am, though.

Time and dreams.

Pretty.

Ah. Late.

With the hours thinned out toward morning, I'm riding a buzz and listening to "Don't Fear the Reaper" (checking the cowbell, oh yeah). The night was long and warm; the air holding the near memory of rain.

Now thing are deeper, dark. The computer playing a track -- while everything else is quiet. (Except for the the tapping of these keys.)

I'm not very focused.

But am (at least) relaxed.

Cool.

The air today had weight. It pressed in, dense against my skin. Drawing out moisture. Slowing movement.

Earlier, I hurried to take out the garbage: racing the arrival of a thunder storm. After a few trips up and down the driveway, it felt like I was breathing a warm ocean.

Moments later, the air actually was filled with water. And rumbles. And flashes. I was inside by then, surrounded by a machine-chilled environment. Re-cooled and dry...

Now it is quiet.

And I've just finished a bowl of Lucky Charms.

There is a kind of smeared brightnesss to the day. Without my glasses, it looks bleary and white. My face is warm from yesterday's sunshine. I need a shave. Everything is quiet. The sounds of birds are muffled by closed windows and air-conditioning.

I wish things were better.

Just a quick note wishing all who are celebrating today a very safe and happy 4th of July.

I feel like I could sit in the sun and think of absolutely nothing for, oh, about a year. At least.

Have a happy Holiday.

I feel a bit like my gears are grinding, like I'm trying too hard to be happy this holiday weekend.

But things are so beautiful.

And I have so much to be happy for.

I want to greet July with a smile and an unwinding -- but my mood engine is smoking and sputtering trying to reach those higher gears. Man, I need a tune-up.

Still...

Happy July.