days go by

The last few days have been hard.  As the sunlight has brightened, I've appreciated the near-Spring visuals -- even as I found myself missing...everything...so much more.  An odd combination.  I've gone a bit machine-like: work, eat, sleep -- repeat.  Just walking through the hours.  I never thought I'd lose so much, so quickly.  There were things I never thought I'd lose at all.  It still shocks me.  Still hurts.  The things I wish for now are almost embarrassingly sappy.  I want to be happy, but I'm not sure how that song goes anymore.  I'm mostly just exhausted and cold now, even as the days grow warmer.