The Allurium

nothing

Sun, 13 Jun 2010 01:12:13 -0500

in a way it's a relief

here

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 20:11:54 -0500

Friday night. The meaning has shifted. It's...quiet, here. From outside: the sound of the highway. People going places. Birds, singing. Lives occurring. There's still blue in the sky; shadows pushed back. I don't know what to say. I'm as empty as a bell. Unrung.

Hourglass

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 19:43:46 -0500

The hours weep seconds.

Those small moments are,

Awash,

In the sorrow

Of the passing, of...

Everything.

Their tears,

Like tiny

Grains

Sand.

Remembering the Moon

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 20:19:16 -0500

"Never look back, Lawrence. Never look back. The past is a wilderness of horrors."
- The Wolfman (2010)

Re-buffering

Sun, 30 May 2010 21:34:28 -0500

"Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come to."

- Naked Lunch

Quieting

Sun, 30 May 2010 08:43:15 -0500

It is quiet here on this pretty morning. The only sounds are birds, outside in the shine, and me moving about, getting ready for work. The passage of time is like silence: much more noticeable when you are alone in it. So many moments have quieted. So much has changed. Things started going bad on this day, last year...

Finished my coffee. I'm going to take a moment to pet the dog and cats, then shower and go to work.

Cathedral Noir

Thu, 27 May 2010 21:22:22 -0500

"The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together." - Carl Sagan

Seeing

Wed, 26 May 2010 22:18:10 -0500

Tonight I saw the moon full, in a purple and pink sky. Driving home with the windows down. Don't feel that great. Was thinking I should hoist the "I Don't Care" flag, run with that for a while. But it wouldn't be true. Pretty quiet, here. Muggy. My eyes are tired.

Symphony

Sun, 23 May 2010 16:43:26 -0500

I don't know what is up with me, today but Symphony of Science is, collectively, the most beautiful thing I've experienced recently. I keep listening to the songs...and crying. It's amazing; I've been crying for at least an hour. I don't think I've cried that much in, well, ever. A small part of me is a bit ashamed of the tears. A larger part is not.

monochrome

Sat, 22 May 2010 00:27:27 -0500

The sound of the highway is a soft white whisper. The night is empty as ink, unwritten.

I am as sad as dust -- and dreams gone monochrome.

False Color Image

Sun, 16 May 2010 22:19:10 -0500

Spring Still Life

Mon, 10 May 2010 17:18:07 -0500

Mean Reds

Sun, 09 May 2010 22:06:54 -0500

Got a fat glass of red. Bad for me but -- what the fuck. Grinding it down. I'm sick of it, all of it. An ocean of waste. I never mattered. It never mattered. "Exterminate all rational thought," the man said. I see what he meant. I can taste it. Erase me. It will still be the same anyway. Such hilarity. I really really don't matter. It's glorious. All this time and imagery. So silly.

Please forget the words that I just blurted out.
It wasn't me, it was my strange and creeping doubt.
It keeps rattling my cage, and there's nothing in this world will keep it down.

Even though I might, even though I try,
I can't.

I Can't - Radiohead

Mother's Day

Sun, 09 May 2010 10:24:44 -0500

Mom and Grams; I miss you both. Happy Mother's Day.

Love,

John

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Tue, 04 May 2010 05:24:45 -0500

I dreamt, once, of a wide low river of green water. It was warm and...inevitable. Years ago, I remember sitting in the rain, by a pond. Droplets everywhere; unpredictable circles. It's funny how something can seem both random and planned. Upstream (a little less than a year ago) I had a plan for this day. There was a small fact that was the key to it. But -- Tempus fugit. Things got random.

My plan was a dream that I took for inevitable -- but dreams are like water, and water can be a river or a raindrop. Much seems like a dream, now. The world is an ocean of it. I no longer have a plan for today, so I'll just say:

Happy Birthday, Audrey.