Tangerine: A Book of Hours

It will be cold inside. October by air-conditioning. So I am sticking to the warmer currents, here, for as long as I can. Soaking up the evening unfiltered.

Persistent in memory, is an archetypal beach day. Sitting in the hot sand, trailing grains through fingers. While the surf thumps and sprays salt -- and the heat and forever-blue sky accent and open the moment. Just like this. Just like today.

So: pen and paper -- amid marigolds, petunias and pretty unknowns. Water in my glass. A breeze that cools just a little -- and caresses more.

Earlier, high-up, I saw a butterfly the color of lemonade, its wings outlined in velvety black.

More recently: a bee on a blossom. Vivid colors and small scale swaying.

More slant to the shine, now.

The tops of the trees are brightened while, below, shadows stretch. Sound levels are lower, a bit more dreamlike. The silences in-between stretching too.

The light behind the lace is beautiful and timeless. It poured through a window inside. Turning the curtain to ivory and gold.

I like sunlight through fabric -- or other translucencies. Light, filtered and illuminating. Showing, and partially concealed.

Alluring.

I remember lying on my blue and green-turtle towel, at the beach. Eyes closed. The sunlight, on that memory day, filtered through me -- making standard shadows glow red-gold.

The light behind the lace of that memory makes this day even sweeter.

If I close my eyes and breathe, I can see the glow again...and smell the perfume of a distant blossom.

Just a bit.

Posted by John at 8:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

June, de-coupling.

The highway is the loudest sound. Nighttime. I'm thumbing away at my phone. Tried "Vurt" again, earlier -- but it seemed too desperately gonzo to me, then. My mood, I guess.

So, instead, I'm chewing gum and writing this.

(And eventually retyping it, because the email from my phone wouldn't work.)

An exerpt, from the first one of these from me:

6:37 AM, on a Wednesday morning. I’ve been a day without sleep, my eyes are tired, and I have nothing to say...

Not sure if I do now, either. That was in 1997.

I started this one in June, 2004. That will soon be past. Into July. Just an hour to go.

The highway is still loud. The air, warm.

I'm at the keyboard, now, typing into WordPad while logged-on. In a bit, I plan on browsing the Sony Ericsson site. Just daydreaming.

Fragmenting this.

IM Excerpt:

Kelli372: what are you up to?

lockfalcon: Just piddling around on the Sony Ericsson site, and writing fragments of a new Tangerine entry. What are you doing?

"And then he realized it was July..."

A tentative feeling, with the Holiday weekend not far away. The new month, fresh. Entering the core of Summer.

There were Julys when I swam in the ocean, or walked in the sand. Sometimes, just sweated in the golden heat.

A new batch of moments, either way.

Here's to them being good ones.

Hello Again.

Posted by John at 12:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My fingers are still sort of dense, slowed from being outside in the cool air. And there is still a bit more coffee in my Sunday mug.

I was in the yard, a few moments ago, watching ripples move through the pond. Listening to the water. It is a clear and almost warm day. Muddy. Vaguely buddy. (Some trees hold green nubs. A few verdant shoots are peeking from the ground.) A pre-echo of Spring.

Still, you need your gloves and, eventually, a hat. And a steaming mug of coffee (that went down well and glowing). It's fun to see the lines at car washes grow -- and the advent of motorcycles, again. The fish are sluggish and the sky was perfect blue (but has now grown a bit fretful).

My cheeks are still cold.

But I like it.

Posted by John at 4:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The sky is the color of rainwater on a dust-smeared windowpane. It makes the pristine snow beneath stand out all the more brightly. The cold, out there, is the kind that gets inside. It shivers at the core.

Friday, and wind moves bare branches. Birds flitter and hop, looking for seed. Traffic on the Parkway sounds exhausted, shuffling toward the snow-mounded weekend.

Time is compressing around the coming holidays, moments growing scarce.

I woke early, after fitful sleep. My body carries an enduring coolness today that I hope to work out by heating up with exercise. Soon.

I am imagining the disc of the sun. The warmth of it.

On the clock, the second hand ticks circles.

Almost three, and the light has not changed since morning.

Posted by John at 3:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (1)

Well, it was far less painful than anticipated.

After a bit of fiddling (and downloading a new ftp program that lets me set permissions) I've updated my version of MovableType to its most current.

Amazingly enough, everything seems to be working.

Cool.

(I'm always a bit surprised when I do something involved and it works as expected...)

The moon, set against utter black, is as bright as a streetlight. It is shining in my window. Outside, I can hear crickets and cicadas, the swish of the parkway. It was nicely bright and warm, today. My windows are open and cool air shifts through the screens.

It smells like Autumn but feels like late Spring.

With the week teetering at its mid-point, I think it is just a matter of hours until momentum tips toward the weekend (and a hopeful amount of fun contained therein).

I was playing on the Mini website the other night. Man, I love those cars! Though I still can't decide whether I'd get an "indi" blue or silver version...

Anyway, time for a bit of exercise and a shower.

I hope that your night is sweet and clear.

Posted by John at 8:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Friday, and the rains are a ghost: lingering but not really present. Evening is full-on, yet the light is higher now than it was earlier. Birds in red and brown flitter and chirp, the highway whispers, and a plane buzzes by, far above.

Unseen.

I'm dressed and just about ready to float out into the weekend. Having a tall cold glass of water, at the moment. Typing to silence...mostly. I have been vaguely sleepy all day, a bit dislocated. Things feel calm.

At this point the weekend seems like a cat, slow-stretching.

I'm looking forward to going out, unwinding further. Despite the "neither here nor there" feel of the day, I managed to get a fair amount of stuff done. Things are quiet now, sleepy but ready to groove.

So I'm waiting, dreaming myself awake.

Posted by John at 8:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

From what I understand, their understanding comes down to probability:

Machines and systems built to converse and carry-out actions based on the spoken word. The advance that is pulling them closer to reality? Probability.

They learn and remember, then try to guess the phrase you are most likely to use next. From that, a strange sort of understanding arises.

Supposedly, by 2010, there will be speech recognition systems that can transcribe the spoken word better than humans bent to the same task.

I wonder what understanding like that would (or will) be like?

Knowing by approximation.

Building a mystery, as Sarah sings.

I wonder if it is like music? Sometimes certain notes feel right following others. Sounds that fit together like a smooth pretty puzzle.

I wonder how far ahead a machine or program could guess correctly?
When processor speed goes from breeze to hurricane can prediction blur into precognition?

They say it works better with faces. Vision. If the system can watch while you speak, its accuracy increases considerably.

At some point, will you stand before a fast construct, open your mouth to speak, and have it gently tell you:

"I understand."

Approximately.

Posted by John at 9:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"The trick involves very precise flight control and positional sensing..." (1)

One Summer, dragonflies hovered and swooped in the heated air like jeweled machines. More than I had ever seen before. They were ancient and high-tech seeming at the same time. Beautiful. Vaguely symbolic in my imagery array, dragonflies fascinate like fireflies. One ephemeral...the other washed with immortality.

Two things I learned yesterday: that dragonflies are the world's oldest airborne predators -- and that the males can make their prey think that they are standing still, while they are actually moving. Apparently, they do this by adjusting their flight so that their image always appears in the same spot on the retinas of their prey.

How marvelously cool.

Sounds a lot like time, to me. When you're in it, focused on it, it doesn't seem to move. The hours have their own active motion camouflage. Time, like a dragonfly, is perfectly focused. So often invisible, or seemingly motionless. You only realize, later, that it has been zooming right along.

"From the outside of everything. To the inside of you." (2)

Continue reading "Active Motion Camouflage" »

Posted by John at 1:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

So.

Things have been a bit chaotic recently. Blurred. Breathing time, now.

The outside is inky black, dotted with streetlights. The breeze is cool but nice. I'm playing Spacehog on the stereo. Just got out of the shower.

Feeling kinda...shiny.

I'm thinking.

About driving. And the ocean. Feet in the sand, water on my skin.

Also.

Of some new clothes, perhaps -- for Summer. A refresh in a few other items. Got a little renewal buzz shimmering in my head. I still haven't read, Coraline, but I mean to soon. Altered Carbon was good. I gotta catch The Matrix Reloaded at some point here, too.

And get a haircut.

I think tomorrow I'll dust.

"But in the meantime..."

Posted by John at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Someone turned up the dimmer on today, just now. For the most part, things have been cool, wet, and rainy-gray this Monday. As the sun dips into the horizon trees, however, things have become clean and bright...and warmth is filling up the air.

It's pretty again, now. And the evening skies are blue.

I've been rather ghostly, today -- having very little impact on things. My plan (such as it is) is to get to bed a bit early tonight, so that I can be more productive tomorrow. There is a fair amount of stuff I'd like to get done in the first part of this week...

At the moment, a bird is randomly tweeting outside. I'm kind of stubbly and need a shave. It's early May, and I can still smell the lavender.

I'm thinking of a chair in the sand at the beach. The view of the ocean. And heat...

Tonight is going to be slow and meandering, maybe some reading. (I picked up Neil Gaiman's, Coraline, as well as, Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan, over the weekend.)

I'm a battery in need of recharging, today. Heh.

Posted by John at 6:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Unwinding to the sound of the fan in my computer. The tapping of keys. Further out, the highway -- whispery sounds from there. My neck is kind of tight, but is slowly unkinking. Took my contacts out and cleaned them. My eyes feel a little worn. The sandcastle that caffeine built is sinking down to sleep, smoothed by a tide of hours.

I came back a while ago, from seeing a movie with Kelli. It was nice to be with her -- chatting before the show, holding hands in the dark. We saw X-Men 2, which was cool and fun. During the drive back, I glimpsed a band of clouds glowing against the dark sky. The night is cool...but gentle.

And oh so quiet, now.

I'm rolling my head from side to side, stretching out my neck. Eye-lids heavier than before. Thinking of tomorrow, and the rest of the weekend.

I hope things are sunny, bright. The hours, long.

Unwound.

Posted by John at 2:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A breeze moved over and tightened my skin, made me chill. There was a time, on a deck at the beach, that memory-doubled that feeling...

I had been out in the sun and surf all day and my skin was heated, verging on a burn. At that moment, however, the day was sinking down. Sea water drying on my flesh, air moving my longish hair. It felt good. Warm. Then the light dipped a little bit more toward orange and violet, and a curl of wind smoothed over me. My skin tightened and goose-bumped and I shivered.

But only for a moment.

Years from that, now. In a bright May that is cooling in the shade but warming in full sun. Still hints of flowers in the air -- and the greening, all around.

On top of that, it is a Friday, too. The weekend just a few hours away. On my stereo? 3 Doors Down. Almost perfect coffee in my Outer Banks mug. I'm feeling light and alert, accelerated-but-relaxed.

Cool.

Press on the remote and it's Joan Osborne singing, "Pensacola".

May second, and the memory of a delicious tightening of the skin...

Posted by John at 2:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The bird said, "Tweet, tweet -- go!" And the day swerved, big and bright. A flutter of falling flower petals, and sun. Saturating.

It is warm, verging on hot. May first. I was outside for a while but it's back to writing, now. Pearl Jam on the stereo, a breeze moving lazilly through the opened window.

Last night I finished the newest version of The Allurium. The site is up to 4.0 now. This rewrite included teaching myself xhtml. (I use the term "teach" lightly, though -- it was a sort of scattered approach, picking up stuff here and there -- and I hardly have it down to a science, even now.) Still, I like the way it has turned out. I also went and validated the entire site (and associated stylesheets). That took a while. If you are of a mind, take a look and let me know how it is working (or not working) for you.

I feel smooth and low-key happy that it is May, and the days are bright. I want to do some new stuff with my writing and intend to focus on that, as the Spring glides into Summer.

Ah, Immortality just came on. I love that song...

Happy May Day.

Posted by John at 3:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There are vivid shades: blues and pinks, whites and yellows, standing out against growing levels of green. The skies today were stirred with rain (and it still drizzles down vaguely) but the flowery tags of Spring are unmistakable. Walkers on the street are snug in coats against the coolness in the air -- but there are hints of warmer times, as well.

Friday -- and the week has slowed to this. The light enduring in an evening stretched out by that "spring-ahead" clock trick. Shows you how fluid time can be. How subjective.

I'm drinking some water, out of a crystal coffee mug; getting ready to take a shower, cleaning up for the deeper spans of the evening. I'm a little tired but feeling good anyway.

Today is a watercolor day, a wet painting. The palette is more varied now than it has been, though. Blues, whites, and blacks giving way to a wider range of shades. Even the Hersey's Kisses are now wrapped in pastel foil.

And you can buy marshmallow Peeps in the stores.

I am a four season kind of guy. I like them all. Winter is filled with pristine beauty -- but Spring's allure is blooming, now. The snowy days have (for the most part) bowed out with March. It's transition time -- and I'm enjoying the feel.

How sweet that it's the weekend, in a pretty April, and the early flowers have opened...

Posted by John at 7:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the dream I awoke in the wan early edges of morning. I was in a car, in the sparsely populated lot of a drive-in. The windows of the car were fogged...but I was alone. I felt that it was 7am and as I looked out of the car's bleary windows, I could see people coming into the drive-in, setting up a flea market. I made a phone call...

...And awoke for real, in the morning, here. Feeling like something had occurred.

The earth has a white frosting and water drips from the rain gutters. The roads are clear and dry and the daylight is bright and cold. Things look Wintery, but it feels like Spring, oddly enough.

It's almost Noon, now. Time for a call to Kelli, and lunch...

A March Friday -- the afternoon stretching into its later reaches. The thin snow cover has pulled back even further, to the shaded places on the ground. There is a lot of muddy grass showing through elsewhere. The sky is perfect blue.

It's still kind of chilly, though.

I'm not feeling as spacey as I was yesterday (though I am still a bit droopy). I've been snuffling around the edges of a head cold for the last couple of days. The weekend is supposed to be relatively nice. That would be cool. I'd love to get out and have some fun.

All-in-all, this day stills feels fairly dreamy to me. It's as if the way I awoke tinted the rest of these hours in vaguely surreal shades. I'm thinking blurry morning light, even though this Friday is older now -- and bright and crystal clear.

I may add more to this later...

Posted by John at 11:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There are deer in the woods, resting in the hollow. They melt the snow beneath them and stand out in silhouette: nut brown against white.

I've signed the SFWA Statement of Support for Space Exploration. It was such a sad shock to see what happened to Columbia and her crew...

Last night the wind roared and scoured -- it made a day bright and crystal-cold gritty. A chill breeze still frets with naked trees. The pond is the color of pewter. I'm brewing green tea and making a sandwich.

This month is evaporating.

My Dad's birthday (and Valentine's Day) is Friday. The Pittsburgh Auto Show starts on Saturday. Kelli and I are hoping to get out to that this weekend. Beauty and the Beast (her slightly early birthday present) is on the 26th. Time is flying.

And today is white, black, and warm chestnut-brown.

Close to the heart of February.

Posted by John at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sipping Russian Tea and typing; the Christmas tree, undecorated. It is crystal-cold outside. The kind of temperature that thins your skin down to a paper-thin shivery layer and wreaths your head in a smokey halo of your own breath.

Nice to be inside, the tea warming me from the center outwards.

Haven't done my exercises -- though I have been running around. But it's night now, and things are slowing. I have been tinkering a little with Tangerine. Do you like the new background? The spirals remind me, a bit, of tangerines themselves...also of clock faces and concentric ripples. All appropriate for a journal of this type. I think. I've also doublespaced the text, for better readability.

Other than that, today has been mostly about taking down the Christmas tree, writing, and website coding. Oh yeah, and drooling over the new Powerbooks from Apple. I'd "switch" in a second if I had the cash...

I watched Minority Report and The Nightmare Before Christmas last night. Kind of an odd combination, but I enjoyed both movies a lot. The "What's This?" song from The Nightmare Before Christmas is still playing in my mind as I type...

Ah, down to my last sip of tea.

Mmm...

Posted by John at 7:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have read a book of poetry, through this Christmas time, called, "A Mind of Winter: Poems for a Snowy Season". Some beautiful stuff, there.

Things here, however, are not that snowy at the moment. Earlier today the air almost felt Springlike. Now, in the afternoon of the last day of the year, the air is murky gray, like water under clouds. All traces of earlier snows have melted. I can hear birds -- though the outside looks wet and flat, like ten a.m.

That hourly accelleration kicked in again, right around Thanksgiving. Time swirled by, faster and faster. Pumpkin pie in November, then a jump-cut to Christmas and fast forward to New Year's Eve.

Last Summer seems an eternity away. A myth of heat and greening.

2003 is pressing against the present through a barrier as fine as silk now. Each tick of the clock thins that division more. All these hours, here, in this journal, flutter around like birds ready to migrate. They seem detached now, adrift from their source year. The Book of Hours will soon have a new chapter.

At this moment I am typing (as I am prone to do) and drinking warm coffee. Soon I'll be getting ready to spend the night with friends. I'm looking forward to Champagne at midnight and a fresh span of time to explore and enjoy.

I wish safety and good health, happiness and prosperity, inspiration and (never last) love to you -- in all the moments of the coming year.

Happy New Year.

Posted by John at 3:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

As it gets dark, the Christmas lights come on -- in batches, spots. Here and there and, eventually (as the night gets more fully established) large swaths of multicolored shapes and forms. You can see some displays from far away; others are more subdued. All are worth a look, though.

The night gets deeper, more cold, and the lights go out. Timers or switches flicking to "off". There's a reverse to the evening light up...a light down, perhaps.

And the night gets quiet. And dark.

It's Christmas Eve and my presents are wrapped.

At the moment, I feel like I should be sipping a glass of red wine -- but I'm chewing gum and drinking cold water, instead.

The holidays sure have bounced up quickly again. Things have been busy, but there is a sense of culmination at this point. Most of my tasks are done; now I want to click "on" to savoring mode. And slow down to feel the moments. They cycle by just as quickly.

So.

I'm thinking of that red glass...and maybe settling in with a book I have on my "To Read" stack. Ray Bradbury's, From the Dust Returned...

Here's to a slow and very happy Holiday.

Posted by John at 1:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My original website was called, "Indigo" and the first version of it went up around 1996, or so. Earlier this week, I consolidated things, making The Allurium (www.theallurium.com) my main Internet site. Indigo isn't gone entirely (there's a marker page up there, with some content) but my main web outlet is here, now.

It's kind of sad to see Indigo's abbreviation. One day I may revive it in some form -- I've always enjoyed playing in those deep blue shades...

As for The Allurium, it will be getting a new look (its "Winter Theme") on the 21st. I like the way the design has turned out and just have to tidy up a few things before it is ready to upload. I hope that you like it (if you get a hankering to explore my main site, that is; Tangerine will continue to look as it does now).

It's a drizzly messy day, here. Gloppy snow, quietly growing patches of ice and chilly air. The Christmas lights, outside, add some cheer to things though. I've been working all week (and pulled an all-nighter yesterday) getting stuff wrapped up before the holidays.

And my birthday. I want to just unwind and have fun on that day. There's a Christmas party this weekend that I am looking forward to, as well. So this week has definitely been one of those, "get stuff done so you can have fun later" type of deals.

Now, if only all my holiday shopping was finished...

Anyway, I hope your December is unfolding smoothly -- and that there is more shine than rain in your hours.

Posted by John at 6:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's a rainy fifth of November, so I'm listening to Depeche Mode: "A Question of Lust"...

Election day, and it is cold. The sky is a low smear of gray cotton. Autumn leaves are color pops in the watery daylight.

I'm fairly vague at the moment. I should be doing some work but feel wavery and unfocused. Actually, what I feel like doing is popping out, buying the Spider-Man dvd, grabbing something to eat, and then settling in watch the movie.

At some point I just may do that.

I voted this afternoon and always feel quietly satisfied after I do that. There was a small group of political folk near the entrance to the firehall, passing out pamphlets and such, urging you to vote for their candidates. They always make me feel awkward. It seems rude to only accept papers from one, yet odd to take everyone's stuff. Amusingly enough, about twenty paces from where they gather, there is always a large trash can where you can toss the items you've just been given, before entering the actual polling place.

Kind of symbolic, if you ask me.

Anyway.

Still drifting through the day, here. The stereo is still playing. The day is still silvery gray (now dimming). A chilly drizzle is dropping down, swirled by random gusts of wind.

I'm thinking a warm bowl of soup might be just the thing for supper. And maybe a cup of coffee, for old time's sake.

Oh yeah, and Spider-Man...

Posted by John at 4:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

So, do you scoop all of the stringy orange pumpkin guts out, or leave some in for that hairy gothic look? The glow of a candle looks warm and witchy either way. One might be neater, but I have to say: there are a few threads dangling in my jack-o-lantern, tonight.

Green and yellow are vying for dominance in the trees (with the occasional splashes of red and vivid orange) and the air is sharp with a chill. Scatters of golden leaves speckle still emerald grass. At the moment, the sky is powder blue...but the light is sliding smoothly down to dusk.

It's almost Halloween night.

The goodies (and candles for the pumpkins) are ready. My writing is done for the day. I'm going to relax and hand out treats...then maybe watch some spooky movies on tv (or dvd, as the case may be).

I love Halloween. If I ever have a big old house, I intend to have elaborate costume parties in it. Heavy on candlelight, jack-o-lanterns, and other seasonal decorations...

At the moment, I'm snacking on some Fritos, filched from the treat box. It's dark and very Halloweeny out, now...

I remember using a pillowcase told hold my treats when I was a kid. Going around the neighborhood trick-or-treating until the candy got too heavy (or we got too worn out) and then coming home, dumping it all out on our livingroom floor, and sorting the haul with my brothers.

We never liked the Clark Bars. Funny, 'cause I do like them now...

Anyway, here's to a fun and safe Halloween, and to a very pretty October. November is just a few hours away...so hello to her, too.

Posted by John at 5:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Friday, twenty-five days into October and the leaves are just starting to shift golden. It's cold (and definitely feels like Autumn) but with a little razzmatazz things could still seem late Summery...

On the other hand, I remember a Halloween, not long ago, when a large ice storm turned the whole night into black and white glass -- so I'm not complaining about a tardy show of Fall color.

As for today (and, sometimes, I feel like a hyper-parenthetical weather man) it is a wavery kind of day. A bit of sun, a dash of wan gloom.

So I'm having a late afternoon cup of radiantly-warm coffee and catching up with some email.

Tomorrow, I am looking forward to going to a Halloween party at Bob and Amy's house. That should be fun -- and it'll be great to see everyone together. It's been a while. (A note to myself: remember to bring your camera.)

At the moment, I'm in the middle of a bunch of things. I'm not sure if Kelli and I are going to catch a movie tonight or just kick back and relax. At some point I have to get out and get something to take to the party (and maybe get a hair cut).

Pretty exciting, eh?

One thing, though, I'm no longer feeling so tense. Make that two things: it's also very nearly the weekend. A blah day isn't that bad in that light.

Ack...I just ran out of coffee!

Posted by John at 4:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Got the refrain from an old Pixies song jittering through my head -- and while I'm not really that tired I am definitely...tense.

Today was a day the color of rain water. The ground is cold and moist. The air filled, off and on, with thin drizzle. A gray and dreary Wednesday, for sure. I spent most of it fretfully fiddling with Tangerine.

(How do you like the mini-makeover, by-the-way?)

The back and sides of my neck have been...tight...all day long. It's still kind of creaky, even now. For some reason, I have been feeling stressed since early this afternoon.

The funny thing is: I don't exactly know why.

Once upon a time, I remember laying on my back on a beach towel, spread out over the heated sand. I had my shades on (and a good SPF 30 sunscreen; it's the warmth for me, not the tan). The sun still glowed through my closed eyelids and the sounds of the ocean and a Summer beach were all around me. The radiant heat and stillness had drawn sweat that trickled over my skin.

I felt like the day was slowly turning into molten gold (with the thump and whisper of the waves as accompaniment) and that I could just melt away into an almost perfect state of relaxation.

I think I'll log off, unwind, and hold that moment in my mind for a while...

Posted by John at 12:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Friday, cool as a breeze. The sky is a white cotton ball; rain is a ghost waiting to appear...but not yet. At the moment, there is no water falling.

And me? Well, I might go for some more coffee, with a little persuasion.

A week into October and it still feels like the faded edge of August. I like that. I enjoy Autumn, and Winter, too -- but I'm not ready for frigid air just yet...

I just poured myself a tall glass of water (the coffee is still waiting in the wings, like the rain). Outside, that breeze is getting fretful.

When I was a child, I remember going to a big greenhouse called, "Arcadia Gardens". They sold all kinds of plants and such, there. I can still vividly recall the scent and feel inside the greenhouse, itself. That loamy humid atmosphere, heavy and exotic at the same time.

The air around here feels like that today -- without the "exotic" undertone.

I just answered an email from Kelli. We are going to see Red Dragon tonight, down at the Waterfront, and I wanted to check what time would be good for her. I'm curious about the movie; it has a great cast (and I enjoyed Manhunter). It should be worth seeing.

My mouse is being insolent.

This computer has always been sluggish and prone to crashing. The mouse has likewise left much to be desired -- but now it has developed a cranky streak, moving the cursor haphazardly (or not at all). I'll have to fiddle with it later.

Ah, to be able to switch to an Apple G4 Titanium Powerbook...

Well, it's vivdly-bright now -- but that breeze has become a wind. There are probably some storms in store for this evening. Still, it is Friday, and the weekend is almost here.

Cool.

Posted by John at 2:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tall, perfect blue skies, cool deep air and vivid daylight. The breeze has no hint of woodsmoke -- yet. No frost-crystal tinge. Green is everywhere, rustling. All the golden shades still rest beneath, unseen. The first day of October is a quick, bright kiss.

And I am savoring it.

How the year has blurred, tumbling toward the Winter months. Steady into Autumn, now -- though it still feels like Summer.

I'm writing to silence (though not really; the bell fountainhead brings the sound of water inside, through opened windows -- and the environment breathes with all its tiny noises).

At the moment, my writing for the day is tapering-off. I'm pondering what to have for supper and if if I'm going to watch The Fellowship of the Ring again, later. I'm getting the urge to stroll around outside for a bit, though. It's a beautiful evening and I'd like to feel it for a while before I do anything else.

So that's where I'm headed.

Hello, October.

Posted by John at 5:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm feeling kind of vague, today. Droopy. The environment started out cool and gray -- but now things have warmed somewhat and are accented by a fluctuating brightness. Windows opened, air moving through fitfully, the sound of birds and water. There's a faint perfume on the breeze: blurry, like me.

I'd go for more coffee but I've already had a good amount. I feel like taking a nap but I want to get stuff done.

At the moment, I'm pondering stories, writing this, and doing laundry...

When I'm at the beach I like to play around with the sand. Mostly just running my fingers through it (especially when it is very warm and almost hot to the touch). I also enjoy shaping it into things: suns, moons...castles, of course. Drawing abstract designs with a sea shell or fingertip is fun, too. There's a wide variety in the texture of sand: the heavy, clay-like feel of the wet stuff; the grainy, packable middle-of-the-beach sand; and the silky, almost flour-like feel of some of the very dry, "dune sand".

Hmm. Just something I was thinking about.

Now I'm thirsty. Time for some cool water...and progress.

Happy Wednesday.

Posted by John at 2:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As I danced across the rooftop, persued by an angry yellow-jacket, I mused on the fact that I am not as limber as I used to be. That, and that it was a good thing I don't have a problem with heights.

Recently, I dreamed about buying a Bow-Flex. I find that to be mildly hillarious. (Of course, I am easily amused. Thank goodness.)

In my cyclic way I am drifting back into the I-gotta-get-back-into-shape mode. Especially if my sub-conscious is populating my dreams with visions of fitness equipment. I mean, sheesh, I'm used to far more exotic sights in slumberland. Ya know?

Way back cough years ago, I remember the sense of accomplishment at finally being able to do three full sets of pull-ups (each with a different grip) on a Solo-Flex. And those inverted sit-ups! I actually enjoyed them. (I never did get around to enjoying squats, however.)

It's not that I've gone totally to seed -- but I am softer and noticably more creaky than in the past. I really should put a lid on that before things get annoying.

Wonder if a Bow-Flex would fit in my bedroom?

Posted by John at 3:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My toe doesn't hurt very much any more and the blood blister on my thumb is almost gone -- so I'd say that my recent excursion into roofing was a success.

And the roof in question looks good too, by-the-way.

Me, Joel and a friend of his named, Rick (who actually knows what he is doing when it comes to roofing and such) have been putting a new one on my parent's house for the last week or so. We used three dimensional, 50 year shingles that look really cool. The three of us are all still fairly sore from the project -- but it went well.

Now it is back to typing for me. I have Luna's cd, Romantica playing. I've just finished my second cup of coffee. It's Thursday, and the weekend is languidly strolling up closer. Things here are bright, and nice. The trees are lushly swaying. Slow and gentle.

It's hard to believe that August is rapidly drawing to a close. For something that has seemed rather vague, this Summer has moved very quickly. I hope that the warmth and greenery lasts into a long Autumn. I'm not really ready for stark chilliness yet.

Kelli and I have been talking about trying to get out to Starlake to see a concert before the end of Summer. I hope that we can. It would be cool to sit outside in the heat, under stars, and watch a band. I think Joel is still planning his tikki party, too. And then there is the Labor Day weekend...

Summer is still here, bright and blue-skied.

Posted by John at 1:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sinatra is playing in another room, "I Have Dreamed". It is cool, today -- but perfectly bright. The trees are swaying slow, leaves glimmering in the sunshine. Lightly into August, and things are smooth and gentle as a smile.

I am under a crystal blue sky.

Momentum has kept me out and about for a bit -- not much computer time. On days like these, however, it's better to be in the landscape anyway. I have definitely sold myself on buying a laptop computer the next time I upgrade. I'm hooked on Net access -- but don't want to be tethered in one room all the time. When I get the funds it's going to be a Titanium Powerbook with Airport for me.

On the other hand, on the list of "Things That Can Keep Me Inside On Days Like These" is a video game that I got a week or so ago. I have been completely hooked by Final Fantasy X for the Playstation 2. It is an amazingly rich and beautifully rendered game -- some of the scenes are almost photo-realistic...in a surealistic way. I've never played a Final Fantasy game before but if the previous games are anything like number 10 then I can easily see why they've become so popular.

And movies. A couple of month ago I pre-ordered The Fellowship of the Rings dvd. I'm looking forward to getting that. I saw the movie back when it came out and loved it. The Lord of the Rings has always been a major favorite of mine. I read the books for the first time when I was in grade school. Seeing the scenes and characters come to life on the screen is a very cool experience.

Ah, and anyway (and before I totally geek-out): welcome to August (a bit belatedly). Here's to more of these perfect crystal hours...

Posted by John at 3:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So it's Friday, and things are blurred and rainy -- filtered through a muggy haziness. I'm listening to Stone Temple Pilots and thinking about having some more coffee.

I don't know what is going on tonight...or tomorrow, for that matter. On Sunday, I'm going to my Uncle's birthday party in a park.

I really miss the beach, today. I would like to be walking along the shore, bare feet in the sand. Mug of coffee in hand. I like the smell of the beach, especially if you haven't been there in a while. It clicks right into your brain like a lost puzzle piece.

There are two little birds on my window sill, looking in at me as I type. Ah, they just flew away.

STP have given way to the soundtrack to Prospero's Books. I wonder what David Bowie's new album, Heathen is like? I've been thinking about getting it. I've also been wanting to get a new PS2 game. I wish there was something out like ICO. That game was entrancingly lovely.

I have added to my list of "Cars That I Like". Joining the New Beetle and the Audi TT Roadster, is the Mini Cooper. It's a very cool little car.

Hmm, I seem to be flittering here and there quite a bit this afternoon. Sorry for that: I guess I'm a bit hazy today, too.

And, hey, two white butterflies just floated by my window, tumbling around each other in jumbled circles. My window seems to be attracting flying couples today. Cool.

The disks have swapped again on the cd player. A Tribe song is playing now, "Joyride". Time for me to get some stuff done.

Have a great Friday.

Posted by John at 3:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The coffee is cooling (but still rich and groovy). I'm listening to Rufus Wainwright's version of Lennon and McCartney's "Across the Universe". That's cool, too. Differently.

It's Friday, and the sky is deep faraway blue, sunlight playing down weightlessly.

I have a variety of things to get done but wanted to pop in and do a little Tangerine -- like a quick dance step, in the middle of walking down the street.

"Hey Joe, what do you know?"

It's weekending, again. And a bright and pretty one at that. I'm not sure what's on tap for tonight, but I sort of have a hankering for something new. Maybe I'll get down to the Chapel of Blues for a bit.

There's an invitation to my 20 Year High School class reunion sitting on my desk. I know it is cliched but I have to say it: "Wow, where did the time go?"

High School was a behemoth, while I was in it. A huge world roaring around me. Now it's like a sign swept by and dwindling to a speck in a rear-view mirror. A universe away. I can't decide, just yet, if I'm going to go to the reunion or not.

Still. Twenty years. Wow.

Anyway, gotta run. Time for a two-and-a-half day tap-dance in the sun.

Posted by John at 2:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Coffee, smooth and a few shades lighter than milk chocolate (just the way I like it) has me amped up this morning. Though I'm tired at the same time. (I stayed awake too long last night and rose too early today; ah well.) The lack of sleep has me a bit on the "easily distracted" side of the fence this shiny Wednesday. From my window, I watched a deep green convertible go by. The interior of the car caught vivid sunshine like a cup.

Today is definitely a "top-down" kind of day.

The air is velvet with heat and the light summons incandescent color from...everything. I can imagine floating in the ocean on an afternoon like this.

With the windows closed and the air conditioning on, things are quiet. A soft susurration through the air vents, the muted sounds of birds in still trees. The clacking of the keyboard.

And that bright outside: beckonning.

Tonight will be the movies...and then unwinding into a nice extended holiday weekend. Other than that, my plans are free-form, punctuated tomorrow by Pittsburgh's (usually excellent) fireworks display.

At the moment, though, I am anticipating a tomato and cheese sandwich -- and a catnap.

Posted by John at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

July, and the weather report on my cell phone says: "Dust 70 -- 91".

That's kind of...different.

Summer is bright, heavy and hazy, today. And July seems to have bounded into view with unexpected speed. I'm only partially caffienated at the moment but I feel like I'm getting stuff done, never-the-less.

The July 4th Holiday is always a fun center to the Summer and I'm hoping to get together with friends and have a nice extended weekend. Kelli and I are going to start things off on Wednesday by catching Men in Black II down at the Loews Theater at The Waterfront. I ordered Loews Club seats earlier today -- so that should be cool. I want to find out what Joel and everybody else are doing for the holiday so we can all get together and go see the fireworks or something. I'm kind of amazed that the 4th is only a couple of days away; June seemed to just fly by.

I've been feeling the urge to get out and about more -- especially to parks, lakes, etc. Maybe it is compensating for not being able to go to the beach this year or maybe Natural John has been summoned by the hot and sunny weather but, either way, the great outdoors are calling...

Anyway, Hello July. Here's to sun and stars, warm breezes and good times.

Posted by John at 12:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Today is golden.

Or maybe molten. It's hot, bright, and weekend-verging. I'm typing this in and lusting after lemonade.

I've been working on The Allurium -- getting the site uploaded and (more or less) running. After having the domain for over a year I figured it might be good to actually put something up there. That's done, now. Thankfully.

And I'm melting into a happy Friday mood. There is a lot going on in the city this weekend and I hope to be out and about a fair amount. The weather forecast calls for lush hours of sun and heat, so it should be a good start to the season.

I know the beach would be great on a day like this. The 'burgh is too.

Now -- all I have to do is get a few more things done (and maybe grab a haircut) and I'm off...

Hello Summer.

Posted by John at 4:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Friday, and I'm getting ready early for the evening. Don't know if I'll actually be going anywhere -- but I'll be set to boogie, should the opportunity arise.

I'm playing The Fixx cd, Reach the Beach through my dvd player (for some strangely annoying reason that particular disc won't play on my stereo). I just got out of the shower and I am contemplating supper while Friday shines in: all sunny, blue-skied, and flower-blossomed. The air is cool-but-not-chilly and I feel smooth and relaxed.

This has been a pretty day, bright and clear after the rains and rough weather earlier in the week. I hope that the weekend unfolds as vividly.

One of my favorite songs from this album is on now, "Liner". I remember listening to this years ago, on a good old LP record -- then, later, on a cassette tape. It seems a bit goofy that it is now playing digitally through my stereo tv speakers. It's still a cool song, though.

As for what to eat -- well, I'm going for some pasta and a Corona.

I'm a virtual font of useless information today, aren't I? Heh. Some days are like that, I suppose. Here's to a great weekend, though!

Catch ya later...

Posted by John at 5:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In the evening, I am outside -- wearing jean shorts and flip-flops. The air is not as heavy with stillness and heat on the deck. My desk and computer are surrounded by too much stagnant and sweltering humidity to linger there long. So it's a paper and pen kind of day.

A glass of cool water, the slow breeze outside, and a Mead notebook work fine, thankfully.

There is blue in the sky but it is very pale -- almost white. In general, the clouds are pressed down low, milky. The sound of the parkway is vaguely exhausted. I wish I had a laptop.

June slipped in effortlessly (and almost unnoticed) and now seems to stretch out in warm languor -- perhaps reclining on a beach chair by the water. I have a hankering for lemonade.

I'm writing this while standing, my notebook perched on the deck rail. Later tonight, I plan on working out a story with pen and paper. The computer is just too hot and electric for me right now. Moments ago, I thought that I could smell someone cooking outside, on a grill -- but I'm not so sure now. Maybe it's a memory brought on by the feel of things, out here.

I was thinking, earlier, that the Peter Greenaway movie, Prospero's Books, would definitely be well-served by a clean, crisp, dvd edition; there is just so much to see in it. I ordered an import version of the soundtrack last week from Amazon -- mostly because I really dig the music that accompanies the movie's striking opening sequence...

And now -- well now it is a bit later, and I am typing this in. And sweating. I'm going to finish this up and go get cool.

Catch ya later.

Posted by John at 7:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So I'm here with Kelli, Friday evening. Our plans are in flux. The hooches are conspiring against us! [Kelli]

But the day is sweet and warm, a bit of rain -- but the skies showed a lot of blue, too. I'm writing this from Kelli's computer as we try to figure out what to do tonight. It's nice to be groovin' into the holiday weekend. I've been waiting for warm weather and Summery stuff.

Here's to a great extended weekend...

Posted by John at 5:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Once, I walked down a deep tree-lined lane. I was going from one side of campus to the other. Moments before it had rained and everything was glimmering and vivid in the late afternoon light. Droplets shimmered on each blade of emerald grass and dripped from the leaves of the old trees with every shift of the air. I remember how the tree trunks looked: moist and almost hyper-real. I stopped at one point in the lane, walked over to the side and pressed my palm against one of those trunks, feeling the rough texture. Then I went on to class.

Today, the rain has stepped back and things are blue-skied and bright. But there is still that underlying Spring shower feel. And the greens remind me of that day at college. I'm drinking cool water and looking out the window -- and time seems piled up behind me.

I think that I'd like to get out a bit more in front of it.

If you time it just right, you can bodysurf a wave far up the beach, bouncing and speeding along in the foam. Too far out and the swells just lift you up and set you back down. In too close and they curl and thump down right on top of you -- kinda fun, but painful, too.

But if your distance is right...

You get a long fun ride.

I've been out of college for 15 years, now.

Sheesh.

Posted by John at 4:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The air is still fast moving -- but now the sky shines, pulling emerald out of the leaves and grass. It is cool and rain-wet. I've had soup for dinner and I am contemplating a glass of red wine.

I feel good; the evening seems deep.

There is a sense of Summer vacations past: lots of fun stuff to do -- long hours to do it in. I don't actually have anything planned (and it is only Spring) but I feel ready-to-go, wide open and relaxed. I have some music on, 3 Doors Down. I'm grooving.

This is a nice vivid dusk, after a stormy pearl day.

I hope your evening hours are as bright.

Continue reading "Pulling Emerald" »

Posted by John at 7:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm into the evening, smoothly. The sky is filling with wind and darkness...and then fading to pale light. There is the smell of rain on the cooling breeze but the showers, so far, seem hesitent. Birds are chirping in the mercurial dusk.

I've been tinkering, and writing, and getting a variety of stuff done today. I feel like having a cup of coffee, now. Don't know if I will though.

Half of my light bulbs are replaced; the last, a sweltering halogen number, awaits my screwdriver. It'll be good to get more light in here. I love illumination. If I were constructing my own home or designing an apartment, it would be bathed in light. Layers of light (brighter over more subdued) and color variations... Darkness and shadows and be interesting, and even inspiring at times, but for day-to-day living -- make my space shine.

Time for that halogen.

Posted by John at 8:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm sipping red wine in a dimly-lit room. It's not really romantic or mysterious -- I just need to get some new light bulbs. But the wine is good, so that's cool.

I got a lot of stuff done today and I'm unwinding now. Maybe later I'll read some more of The Haunting, or play around on the PS2. Now it's just a nice mellow moment, a Thursday evening with the light still in the sky and the sounds of the highway swishing distantly. The breeze through my window is cool...but not cold.

This afternoon, I added all the entries from my original journal, "I Have Nothing to Say", to this version of Tangerine. They are in the archives, categorized under "January 1997". (Actually, the entries stretched out over most of the year in 1997 -- but I didn't record the dates on which I wrote them, just the hours. What can I say, I was into a whole "deconstructionist" thing at the time.) Later, I'll be adding all of the old Tangerine entries, too. There are quite a few of those, so it'll take a while. I will also be adding "category" archive pages, eventually.

At the moment, though, I'm going to finish my wine, stretch my back, and find some light bulbs...

Posted by John at 6:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In-between bouts of deep driving rain the sun is glowing pale yellow. A moment ago raindrops were flying almost horizontally past the window -- now it's semi-shiny and the birds are tweeting.

Kind of a funky day.

I'm trying to get stuff done early because, tonight, I'm meeting Kelli, Alex, and Kelli's dad downtown. Kelli is taking us all to see the WWF at the Mellon Arena. I think it's going to be fun -- we even made signs to hold up. (And I must say that my sign is, by far, the most incredibly spiffy bit of graphic artistry that anyone has ever seen.) I've never been to a WWF event before, so I'm looking forward to seeing what it is like.

Well, time for me to finish up some stuff and get ready...

Continue reading "Spiffy Signage" »

Posted by John at 2:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

A glass of red wine, and the sunlight is going horizontal. It's Friday and the air feels smooth, the weekend opening like a time-lapsed rose.

Slow, at the moment, but these things always speed up.

Scott Weiland is singing "Atlanta" on my CD player and I'm writing this before showering and getting ready for the night. The day, so far, has felt a bit rushed. I didn't get a lot done but hey, it's the weekend now. Time for some fun.

Kelli will be out, later. We'll probably hit Tramps and unwind. I'm looking forward to seeing her. Ah, and congratulations to Dawn and Bob on the birth of their daughter, Taylor Marie -- health and happiness to all of you.

Well, I'd better get rolling here. Thanks for reading -- catch you later...

Posted by John at 7:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hot bright sound, pouring up. This blue sky mood: skylighting.

I’m Thursday’s child, today. Working, typing, music in the background. I like being back to this. It’s easy to forget (surprisingly so) the pleasure you can get from certain things.

The weekend is stepping up closer. I hope it will be bright. Joel is (or will be) in the Ozarks on a 60 mile bike ride. Kelli is at the Sewickley Spa today -- I hope she is having a great and relaxing time -- and has been hitting the gym. I have to start getting a bit more physical, myself. Get a bit more fit for the Summer. I’ve been doing 50 crunches every morning but that’s about the extent of it so far. If I exercised as much as I think about exercising I’d be one buffed dude.

I think Thursday is cerulean and breezy, her hair tangling around her face as the sunlight pours down. She moves like the newly-greened trees: a fragrant swaying half-dance. And evening is her promising smile. Thursday’s night will hold a clarity of stars.

Maybe it’s the coffee, or the abundance of light, but I’m feeling...vivid, today. It’s good. And I’m groovin’.

--- John

Posted by John at 5:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Cool: the air, this interface, the month...so far. Talk about a lush chunk of time gone by! But Tangerine is back.

I've missed this.

Today was all blue clarity, bird calls and the sly fragrance of Spring flowers. I was cleaning for a primary part of it. Cleaning and fiddling with this new set-up. I honestly thought that installing Movable Type would be a lot more difficult than it was -- though, don't get me wrong, I screwed things up multiple times. I think I have it working right now, though. Hopefully.

I'm going to try and update Tangerine in it's new form as regularly as possible. I also plan on uploading all of my past entries to this new system and making them available in the archives.

Of course, all of this is also part of a larger experiment: my domain, The Allurium. That is also in progress and is coming along pretty smoothly.

Well, that's about it for now.

I'm glad to be back.

--- John

Posted by John at 10:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)