How to Make Anyone Immediately Regret Breaking Up With You
Things are about to get real. I could spend a lifetime theorizing about sex rituals and soulmates and all of the mysterious sides of romance - and I likely will - but it's time for The Blackbook to begin fulfilling one of its main purposes, and that's teaching you how to gain superhuman attraction skills. This is the type of article that I don't want my exes or any current love interest to see - the type of post that reveals some of my favorite techniques and attraction secrets. But the deeper truth is that everything that I teach revolves around wielding your energy in a way that conveys self-respect, self-belief, and extraordinarily high value. And at the end of the day, this is a skill that I wouldn't wish to withhold from anyone.
First, I will address any reader who is secretly thinking, "But I don't like the idea of using specific tactics to win someone over. I'm not into playing games. I want them to want me for who I really am." That looks lovely on paper, but how has that been working out for you so far? If your current self is composed of habits and beliefs that involve any amount of self-doubt, insecurities, or fears, then those things are going to come across in your actions and communication. By all means, own those geeky interests and fetishes and strange quirks, but stop identifying yourself with any mindsets or behaviors that come off as desperate or low-value - behaviors that energetically push people away, rather than drawing them closer. Continuing to repeat those behaviors isn't "being yourself". It's being a disempowered version of yourself that doesn't yet have the confidence and inner fire to evolve and create a better, sexier, and more fulfilling reality.
There are many ways to do this, but how do you make someone regret their decision to break up with you within seconds? It's extremely simple. Take a moment to compose your energy and, without any hint of sarcasm or anger, say:
"Okay. That makes me sad. But I completely understand."
And then, as difficult as it may be, excuse yourself from the conversation. That's it. Your partner will be left in shock and will immediately start second-guessing their decision to end things.
Let's break down why this works. Above all else, this response shows magically high value and fearless energy, while also being honest. By saying, "Okay. That makes me sad," you acknowledge your inner truth and make it known that this is not something that you want. By saying, "I understand.", you take responsibility for anything that you may have done in the past that contributed to your partner's decision. This is far more powerful than attempting to explain away any mistakes or profusely apologizing. Saying that you understand (which you hopefully do) communicates that you clearly see where things went wrong and that you don't want that sort of relationship, either. There are some instances where apologizing is useful, but I generally don't advise it immediately after a break-up. Anyone can say sorry and then continue repeating the same behaviors. It takes much more awareness - of yourself and your partner - to understand where things went wrong, how you contributed to it, and how things can be resolved.
So, why walk away at this point instead of attempting to convince your partner of how things could be perfect? This is where you demonstrate high value, while drastically decreasing the likelihood of this happening again in the future. As I mentioned in my article, "That Time I Successfully Enchanted Everyone Except My Crush", I don't want someone who doesn't want me or someone who I have to convince to love me. That doesn't turn me on or make me fall head over heels. (Side-note : Someone who blindly goes along with everything that I say and encourages self-destructive behavior isn't attractive, either.) If someone is ending things with you, they are not seeing your value and are no longer willing to work with you to make things better. The most high-value and energetically attractive thing that you can do is to quickly remove yourself from the conversation, demonstrating to the other person that you are fearless and strong and that you won't settle for someone who would rather walk away than stay and work things through with you.
Equally important, walking away ensures that this won't become a repetitive cycle. By exhibiting extreme emotions and/or begging for another chance, you give the other person massive amounts of reassuring, ego-boosting energy. It may work temporarily, but what have you taught your partner? That threatening to break up with you is rewarded with extra emotions and extra effort. It then becomes incredibly easy for your partner to resort to threatening a break-up when he or she is in need of reassurance or an ego boost. Alternatively, by walking away, you communicate powerful value and make it clear that no rewards will be given for someone's choice to leave you.
As always, there is more to the psychology of this technique than I can explain in one article. Every situation is different, but this is my basic breakup response blueprint that I have had the most success with, personally and with clients. If you utilize this tactic, it is highly likely that your partner will soon change her or his mind and that your power in the relationship will be restored, allowing you both to evolve, together, and move forward to create something truly magical. If your situation is more complex or you need assistance removing beliefs and inner blocks that are causing low-value behaviors, please visit my coaching page. May your thoughts be powerful and confident.